Twitter Archive

@akrabat Best wishes to you and your wife.

RT @JanePitt: Dear Santonio, Don't let the door smack you in the giant freshly showered penis on your way out.

@ramsey Maybe twelth porter is a suggestion, like "after your twelth porter, it's time to leave."

@burghbaby Clearly you haven't seen Billy Madison.

How to Make Tacos: Step 1: Don't slice your thumb open while chopping the lettuce. :-(

@burghbaby The more you tweet about your daughter, the more I think she might be cooler than me.

@michaelianblack That's a legitimate and well known phenomenon called semantic satiation. Also, bring your a-game to CMU next week.

@JustinKownacki ANYONE that thinks that Apple even knows the word benevolent ought to be slapped.

@burghbaby I detest the word "cusses." Can we say "curses" or "swears"?

@JustinKownacki I'm not sure most athletes would welcome being compared to the Detroit Lions.