Twitter Archive

@IKEAUSA Your competitors are looking much more appealing right now.

@IKEAUSA I have to bring my sofa in without knowing if or when it will be replaced under warranty? So I may have to rent a truck twice?

@justinxreese After the month is up you should lead with the most disgustingly sweet thing you can find. Maybe it will ruin sugar for you.

OH "The guy is already dying on the table. Let's just make him RoboCop."

@kylePGH @MarissaBurdett Now I feel terrible because I didn't have time to get what I needed last night. Hate to disappoint my fans.

One of those nights where you look up at the sky and wonder if someday your great grandchildren might find a home out there.

@sempf But Boo-ll Sempf is such a lay up.

Being a pedestrian for a few weeks has taught me that almost no one deserves the privilege of operating a motor vehicle. Hurry up @google.

The ONLY thing that could cheer me up tonight is if someone does a @CmooreChris impression on tonight's episode of @hbo's Project Greenlight

@DOOMTREE I feel like your Grand Rapids fans owe you an extra hug, because that routing is crazy. See you in Pittsburgh.